Lottery Loss Becomes Win/Win

Opulence, diamonds, golden dreams

of  Lottery Heaven….

– A quick way out

– A simple easy fix

– A Deus-ex-Machina

the kind in antiquated Greek dramas

where a God descends to save the day…

We weeped for the success

of the right numbers

that would instantly render life

completely fixed and perfect

in one Gigantic Instant,

like a shot of heroin

with only positive side effects.

I pulled for this.

I pulled so hard

my mind became a mush

of positive affirmations and Shangri La-like visualizations

Giving way to a Fantasy Reality

that would make any fairy tale pale in comparison.

I desired this.

I desired this so acutely

that my insides became

as intense as Victoria Falls.

 

The Quick Fix that

is like finding Happiness in a Box

in the middle of a barren desert

that instantly brings the oasis of Bliss.

But, the water to quench

the parched land

quickly became a Mirage.

An Illusion

like everything else

that gets me from day to day.

And yet this time….

I do get the Transformation.

I do get to see the

Addiction of the Quick Fix

And I get to lament instead

…on Reality

How it stares one in the face

even when we bow our heads

to avoid being blinded by it.

 

Yet, I know I’ll do this Again…

…and Again….

I know I’ll pull the Illusion

out from my heart

and put it into some Crazy Action

that I can Laugh at

when I am older and wiser.

 

In the meantime, I ride the illusion

like a surfer rides a wave,

Eager to catch the next one

for it to be perfect

and make life complete and neat,

in a well wrapped package

that makes sense and is orderly.

 

Instead, I go back to mine,

my life that is not orderly

and is at times incomprehensible.

But, here in the middle,

there is a heart

that still smiles when it has something to give.

 

And so Receiving from a Lottery Win

Becomes a warm, pleasant realization

that being able to Give

is the key to being Rich.