I’m in the middle,
Not the end
Reaching high
Until I reach a bend
Then going low
And wishing
I were someone else
But who would I be?
I wouldn’t be me.
I’d be someone who didn’t care about the mountains
I’d be someone who didn’t want to save cows and chickens, goats and sheep
I’d be someone who didn’t cook your vegan dinner
I’d be someone who didn’t care at all
I get so high
I don’t even remember my yesterday
Forgot the blues
Looking down at my shoes
And what happened the day before
When I stayed in bed till four
I got so high
I couldn’t even remember
That I ever got down
But then I crossed a border
Went south in my own soul
Drove myself into a corner
And wished that I was on another planet
That I didn’t see the bad and feel it in my veins
That I didn’t want to shoot myself to make it all over
When you kill my cousins
Just to put them on your dinner plate.
Then I got so high
I couldn’t even remember
That I ever had a bad day.
Didn’t remember that I cared so much
Beyond the music moving my Soul
Taking me to some unknown heaven
To take a break from this lonely planet.
Didn’t remember that there were others outside my doors
Being cruel to one another
Not caring about the future
Mine nor yours
Not caring about those who care
Just inflicting pain
As if to make their own less.
But it doesn’t.
I took a break from this lonely planet
Closed my eyes to the killing and shame
Wrapped myself in all my blankets
As if to shield myself from the pain.
I didn’t remember how rude you were
That you talked about eating my best friends
And removing their horns.
Didn’t remember that I felt ruined
When you told me you like barbeques
Knowing the grill was void of eggplant, potato and corn
And that you killed another friend
Or worse – got someone to do it for you
So you could keep looking in the mirror
Without hating your own reflection.
I got so high
I couldn’t even remember
That I cared so much
Then I went down to my knees
Forgot I ever got so high
And felt the pain all over again
When I went to the market
And passed by the butcher section
I thought I saw a leg,
I thought I saw some eyes looking back at me
With gaping open mouths,
I thought I saw ground guts and fried brains
Thought I smelled dead flesh
And saw more friends spinning slowly round in circles
By skewers piercing what was once their heart
In hot ovens, for all to see
I covered my eyes
And forgot I ever got so high
Forgot I ever took a break from this lonely planet
To dance instead to the music of my Soul
That wishes now to only run and hide
While you tell me again
About your new couch, cowhide.
I forgot I ever got so high….