Opulence, diamonds, golden dreams
of Lottery Heaven….
– A quick way out
– A simple easy fix
– A Deus-ex-Machina
the kind in antiquated Greek dramas
where a God descends to save the day…
We weeped for the success
of the right numbers
that would instantly render life
completely fixed and perfect
in one Gigantic Instant,
like a shot of heroin
with only positive side effects.
I pulled for this.
I pulled so hard
my mind became a mush
of positive affirmations and Shangri La-like visualizations
Giving way to a Fantasy Reality
that would make any fairy tale pale in comparison.
I desired this.
I desired this so acutely
that my insides became
as intense as Victoria Falls.
The Quick Fix that
is like finding Happiness in a Box
in the middle of a barren desert
that instantly brings the oasis of Bliss.
But, the water to quench
the parched land
quickly became a Mirage.
An Illusion
like everything else
that gets me from day to day.
And yet this time….
I do get the Transformation.
I do get to see the
Addiction of the Quick Fix
And I get to lament instead
…on Reality
How it stares one in the face
even when we bow our heads
to avoid being blinded by it.
Yet, I know I’ll do this Again…
…and Again….
I know I’ll pull the Illusion
out from my heart
and put it into some Crazy Action
that I can Laugh at
when I am older and wiser.
In the meantime, I ride the illusion
like a surfer rides a wave,
Eager to catch the next one
for it to be perfect
and make life complete and neat,
in a well wrapped package
that makes sense and is orderly.
Instead, I go back to mine,
my life that is not orderly
and is at times incomprehensible.
But, here in the middle,
there is a heart
that still smiles when it has something to give.
And so Receiving from a Lottery Win
Becomes a warm, pleasant realization
that being able to Give
is the key to being Rich.